Saturday, October 27, 2018

Something Solid: Aughts Philly: "Feast or Famine"




I knew the Manhattan you grew up in well indeed—
the Upper West Side— gruesomely built of blocks
of primitive brick and stone. But, for you, with two
orchestra musician parents, a ticket into New York
Bohemia, bagels and lox from Zabar’s, then nothing,
popcorn, then back to Zabar’s. Whether feast or
famine, no forced schooling for you, just days at
home with paints and canvases, from a young
age, for company— hours of repetition, breakthroughs.
Always unease, that what you wanted to paint
was too formal, too advanced, for the land
of Warhol and Koons. You were ready for Philly.
PAFA, drugs, dykes, all in preparation for
finding it, your mind’s precious Rosetta Stone.

Your vision grew limpid as your life went crazy—
ensconced in the Center City beau monde,
directing traffic, wedded to an Irish witch
who wished you the worst in the end, every
distillation of visual perfection in your brain
found refulgent form, as you found time to
fall into my arms as well, and I rode analogous waves—
why it was all lost then was simple— the girls,
your girls, didn’t like it. They were threatened
by a genius they knew to be easily trounced.
I never let you go. I still won’t: the halcyon
nights we spent remain the guiding light of
my life, in this world and beyond, you and Mary,
and bruises or afterthoughts be damned, Rosetta Stoned—

Monday, October 22, 2018

Treasure Trove


As is interesting, Trove, a subsidiary of the National Library of Australia, now has, as holdings, a collection of pdfs of entire Otoliths issues, including issues 47 and 50, and 53. Issues 47 and 50 feature a handful of sonnets from my manuscript-in-progress Something Solid. Issue 53 features the Ode On Waves. Peace.

Thursday, October 4, 2018

Something Solid: The Nineties: "The Rustic Inscrutable"

Carrie, a pretty brunette with bag-edged eyes, was
another obvious small-town siren, and was stationed,
strangely, right across from Jen in Leete Hall. My
young mind was naïve about such things. Carrie bothered
to flop me, sloppily, from a murky marriage into her bed,
oblivious as I was to my own confusion. Nights knee-
deep in discomfort, Carrie my accomplice, I slipped
into nothingness and no-man’s land. Jen and I had
the shotgun marriage ended for us, and oh what a shotgun
it was— a loaded one. That much, I sort of knew.
But Jen had disappeared off-campus completely. Carrie and Jen
both knew some score, in a game which had yet to be
introduced to me. My part was to be passed from
hand to hand— a shared asset, jinxed by the rustic inscrutable.

Something gloomy about small towns, small town
girls: macabre undercurrents follow them around,
amidst the farms, lakes, forests, extended foliage.
The grim reaper likes forests as much as cities,
and the naked flesh of small-town nubiles is as
Hawthorne’d as an even more abject Hester Prynne.
Cobwebs, soot, mud, grease, blood— it’s all
smeared on the two-backed beast, when and if
it happens there. Now, it had happened to
me twice running— suburban, well-situated,
unused to being blood-drenched, ripe to hit
my head on rocks. Jennifer made an abrupt exit
to cover the anguish. Carrie waited darkly
to be punished. I ploughed through fields, into deep water.

© Adam Fieled 2021-2026