E-Mails: Hannah Miller/Adam Fieled (2005)

Good morning! I have one request: again, please PLEASE do not brag to Gruberg about you and me banging!!! No way! I may be accidentally sleeping my way through Philadelphia's literary scene- and it's none of his business anyway- but no matter how much you dislike the guy, please don't gloat! Whatever purposes I am good for- I am not to be used for gloating purposes. 

Muchos gracias,
Hannah

Come on & give me some credit! I'm a pretty classy guy, & I have no intention of saying anything to Nick. Why would I? I'm an adult, & I know how to keep things to myself when necessary. I've been avoiding Nick anyway. Also, you should know I had a great time. You're a wonderful lover. 

Best,
Adam

What a sweet thing to say! I'm so glad you think so. I woke up in the morning thinking: Dear God, I must have been awful, there's nothing worse than having sex with someone so drunk they have lost all coordination. Besides, I had that roast beef sandwich to compete with. 

Yours,
Hannah

E-Mail: Mike Land to Adam Fieled (2005)

The ever-fading pieces of crap...Anyway, I'll ring yas tomarra when all of its juiced. On to the blog- hilarious, yes, but not what one would call polite. In terms of making it public, it might be wise to first learn if others are doing similar updates; reconnaissance before the trench can be stormed...Although, it would so insanely humorous, I'm sure, to tally how many myspaces, blogspots, livejournals, webpages etc pop up bashing Mannerism just after they see you've lambasted their self-absorption and before they see it's harder than it looks. Hilarious, yes, but apparently mean-spirited, and remember, I betcha, all these poets could "show you what mean-spirited is!" and how fucking tedious would that be? (Though, of course, a war of blogs could also be quite stimulating) So I'd say focus more on their work than their personalities; people tend to take that shit seriously (the hypocritics)

Truly, 
Mike Land

P.S. how do you feel about that personalization 'truly'?  

from Something Solid: Aughts Philly: Portal-ways

Was it through you, Abby, I managed to do
Queer Studies 101? Here’s what I saw: you
aligned yourself with bad girls, to make yourself
look formidable, lived a life of intermittent
lassitude & discipline, tawny head bent down
to study coded missives you dared not decipher,
and then the bittersweet aftermath into postures
you earned for yourself. Girls in a row, a pretense
for an artist of your magnitude. Was that all
you had inside you? I wonder, but it’s none of
my business, as the Neo-Classical portal-way
built into your brain hovers around the Earth
for a few centuries, and the paintings themselves
form a row, disciplined, formidable, coded, bittersweet—

The Ontological Contradiction (from Postulates and Empty Spaces) ('14)

Though the evidence from Kant's dialectics suggest that substance, that-which-is, causality, is accidental; and furthermore, that, if substance is accidental, indigenous meaning inhering in substance is unlikely; it also then becomes true that a question arises as to the practicality of interrogating the posited null set around inherent meaning in substance, that-which-is, from the side of complete and total immersion in substance/causality; and if meaning is seen to inhere in the possible meaningless or not; or if the beyond-us which must be antecedent to all-that-is necessitates a practical cognitive withdrawal.

If substance/causality is an accident, then it is also necessarily the result of a contingency, or strictly speaking, the contingent; the non-existence of substance subsisted as a possibility. What inheres in the contingent is the possibility of non-existence; yet accidents/contingencies are, or tend to be, contained and delimited by/within discrete successions within increments of time; the possibility, within contingencies, of non-existence, conditioned by an antithetical result (existence), seems also to necessitate discretion, discrete successions in which a change occurred (non-existence into existence). But all-that-is, substance, causality, necessarily always was and will be; time creates a formal condition of indiscretion, and endless series of successions. The Ontological Contradiction built into Kant's dialectics is this- substance/causality cannot be involved in contingency, or it would cease to be what it is (self-sufficient, permanent), which is impossible; yet, if substance/causality is an accident, it must have contingency in its economy as a hinge towards involvement, in some succession somewhere.

Introductory Notes a Phenomenology: The Meta-Rational

The Meta-Rational Argument

            That the being of things consists not of our notions of them, nor our ideations of them; nor do things consist of the Kantian thing-in-itself or as independent entities; rather things consist of the balancing link between the thing-in-itself and our ideations of the thing-in-itself. The balance between these two points of consciousness cannot be perceived alone; what is needed to comprehend it is a sense of the meta-rational. The meta-rational is not, like the irrational, posited against the rational; rather, it is the step beyond mere rationality, the point at which foreign elements become important to consciousness.

-         There is space between time, space between space, and space between causes.

-         This space between is, in one sense, an intuition.

-         Space Between, in this sense, is an intuition of Being.

-         Space Between cannot be named except as such; naming entails a certain confinement.

-         Space Between can possess us between thoughts.

-         Space Between may be seen as an extension of the principle “Negative Capability” beyond aesthetics.

-         Space Between, in fact, may be seen as what consciousness is between thoughts.

-         Space Between in the selfness of what is beyond us.

-         Space Between, as transcendent will, is solid being congealed in a momentary sensation.

-         The mind must divide originally because the body itself is a plurality.

-         The mind’s structure finds its mirror in the body’s plurality; but the mind’s wholeness is not self-apparent.

-         The body is plural, yet it moves together; the mind is plural and moves plurally; that is, it is capable of moving in many directions at once.

-         The mind moving the body is conscious thought; the body moving the mind is unconscious impulse (thought).

-         Plurality is the ultimate dividing thought.

Adam Fieled 2001-2013

Kendall Jenner: Self-Portrait (2)

Two Blue Summers

To see an affirmation              in this process           requires great strength—

            that cut-open souls          exposed to prying sky            veins visible path-ways

might become common wealth          have utility as aqua-ducts            even sewers

            but that presupposes agency,         knife-blade accuracy     viability of private

resources      who am I to say         that myself deconstructed       holds any interest?

            Perhaps the prosaic          nature of affect          is the bluest blue of all,     blue

folded into its own uselessness           like a blue wave collapsed           on a shore—

            yet there is a (strange!) sense      that one must continue, must        or else

life will denote nothing            and that, true though it might be      is intolerable—

            all this for Justine         I met, held, kissed         superb senselessness

that extends           through perceptions of reality         senseless, yet linked

            to shattered possibilities of sense          and to particulars        (faces, places, names)

which deliver illusions              of permanence that never was          never will be,

            ultimately “blue”       even when looking “up,” not down      the same—

Here is one way out—            to say the names          in that facticity

            see a different blue, “electric,”          not closed, undecided      open to mixture

dynamic Selfhood, sky as workable          most importantly        “present-minded”

            blue manifest as “Now”         blue breaths        movements       forward motions—

Justine need not be      Beatrice         “Blue Lady”     is enough    one head effaces

            another          I am hers, for now, in text          “blue text” is droll       making love

is droll too        drollery as a mode of fullness, acceptance—         “don’t stop believing”

            subjectivity need not self-annihilate        I can put two summers together     create

a third,     richer composite        perceptions do not have to burn       nor do we,    awash

            blue repose, reposed blue         all around, eager        intermingled          “boned”